Like a Horror Movie.

I only wish this was a Halloween post. Contains disturbing images… of a certain tiny-fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon.  And swears. When I was 15, The Exorcist was hands down the scariest fucking thing I’d ever seen. Now, I’m no lightweight when it comes to horror and suspense movies, but I’d had no idea what what I…

Raisins or Ratshit*?

Warning: This Halloween post contains some freaky shit. And swears. Due to the freaky shit. Am I a witch? Doubtful. I’m shitscared of spiders. Although… I am a cat person. I can only think of one weird thing that I do in the way of witchy superpowers and it’s really stupid and you won’t think it’s a superpower at all; sometimes…

I’m Doing CrossFit and Haven’t Died Yet.

So one stinking hot summer morning back in January, obviously suffering from heatstroke, I signed up for an 8 week CrossFit challenge. As I said in my last post, I’d been trying for years to get my fitness back but for various reasons it wasn’t really working. Week One: Saturday morning rocked up at Urban Energy Fitness for registration and weigh-in….

Cross I’m Not Fit.

Disclaimers: Not sponsored, contains some naughty language, and might get slightly ranty. OMG am I writing a health/fitness/wellness post? Someone slap me in the face with a packet of Tim Tams. Don’t worry, it’s not that kind of post. I’m not trying to offer any wellness wisdom. I actually get sort of pissed off reading about other people’s health habits,…

BEHOLD: My Glittering Debutt as a Professional Wordsmith*.

*The post formerly known as ‘That time I got tricked into proofreading spam, then ripped off by Upwank’. ** **PLEASE NOTE: Names have been changed for entertainment and frustration venting purposes***. ***There’s quite a bit of venting. And venty language: Parental Language Warning. (That means you Mum.) So back in April I read a post on Bloglovin’ which mentioned…

What Cheesed Me Off Today: The Shortlist.

On certain days, this being one of them, many many things cheese me off (for non-Aussies this means piss me off / otherwise irritate the shit out of me). And before you ask, no I have NO idea what being pissed off has got to do with cheese. Unless you are George Constanza and you eat…

An Open Letter To Our Dumbass Leaders.

To Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk, Environment Minister Greg Hunt, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, the coal industry, Satan, and anyone else who seems to think this is a good idea, I can’t believe I have to sit here and write this letter. As taxpayers we place a lot of trust in you, our leaders, to speak…

The Mountain, The Viper & The Sooky La-Las.

This post is one for you GoT fans out there. If you aren’t one, I won’t hold it against you, just sidle away quietly. That said if you are a Game of Thrones fan and are not up to date with all the TV episodes / have somehow managed to dodge all the spoilers for this…

Where I get my undies in a wad about undies.

Ok, you might notice this is filed under ‘rants’ so heads up on lots of italics for emphasis, as well as a *LANGUAGE WARNING*. (Not too much, just when it really really really fucking needs it.) This is our local Rip Curl surf store down in Burleigh. Notice anything?   I crack the shits every time…