A Bit About Me

Snorkelling selfie = snorkie?
Snorkelling selfie = snorkie?

Hi, I’m Michelle! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Presumably I wrote something that interested, entertained, educated, or (god forbid) upset you and now you’ve come by to suss out my motives get to know me better.

I’m a rank amateur writer and photographer living on the Gold Coast in Queensland, but I love blogging because it makes me feel quasi professional and alleviates the guilt associated with writing when I should be doing domestic shit. Sometimes I write about stuff, other times I write about sweet stuff-all. But I hope you get something out of visiting!

This blog is actually a bit of a mongrel, and quite difficult to categorise… though it is hilarious, even if only to me. I write about whatever takes my fancy; the kids, our adventures, people I admire, entertainment. To polish the turd I also showcase my piddling middling photography skillz. Occasionally I dig into my own personal time capsule, my diary, which I’ve been writing in since I was 11, just to see what comes up. I’ll give you fair warning if I’m going to do that so you can unobtrusively sidle away if you aren’t interested… all right fine, leave then who needs you anyway.

Hey… I didn’t mean it… come back??

Okay. Some random and completely useless information about me distilled from various posts, both existing and yet-to-come:

  1. I was born and grew up in Carnarvon, in coastal middle northern Western Australia. I enjoyed a free range childhood climbing trees and wandering around our ‘island’  – Babbage Island in the Gascoyne River delta. It’s called an island but it was technically only an island when the river flowed and cut the causeway… which wasn’t very often, but it was great because we’d get days off school.
  2. In my 3rd year of uni I went on exchange to Konan University in Kobe, Japan, the year after the Great Hanshin Earthquake. I lived with the World’s best host family and had one of the best years of my life!
  3. I am a total geek. I was a geek before it was cool. I wish I’d been one of the geeks that made it cool, but… I wasn’t. I even studied film for two years at uni until I realised one day that I was crap.
  4. I’m a half-English, half-Dutch first generation Aussie, married to a Kiwi (ie New Zealander) the great-grandson of Irish immigrants.
  5. I was in the Australian Army for a couple of years, as a part-time medic. We helped out with security at the Sydney 2000 Olympics and once I had to search Monica Seles’ car. She didn’t like it.
  6. Eventually I turned to tourism, and realised local travel was what I felt most passionately about. I’ve seen a fair bit of Australia but nowhere near as much as I’d like, and will rabbit on and on about how beautiful and fucking awesome this country is. …STRAYA!

Oh and just for a heads up, I grew up in a small country town and occasionally use some, shall we say, more colourful metaphors. I don’t really mean it. I discovered Billy Connolly as a teenager and my attitude to swearing changed forever; it’s emphatic, economical, and if I’m completely honest with you, fun. It’s just part of our language now, but I still believe it shouldn’t be used gratuitously unless you possess the charm of a former Scottish welder.

– Michelle.

P.S. My favourite part of blogging is COMMENTS! Or as I like to think of them, conversation starters. I’d love to hear from you, and find out what you think, whether you have similar experiences … or completely different! AND where you’re reading from! I had thirteen pen pals from all over the world when I was a tweenager and I get the same yummy feeling at a comment notification as I used to do when I saw a letter from Sweden, or Scotland, or Russia, or Brazil, or anywhere else 🙂

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31 Comments Add yours

  1. Auntie Doris says:

    Did you used to be a Scottish welder by any chance?

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Perhaps I was Billy Connolly in a past life – it would explain some interesting fashion choices I made as a child. Though I suppose you don’t believe in all that tree hugging hippie crap do you Auntie Doris?

      Like

      1. Auntie Doris says:

        Ohh, you might be surprised Michelle. I haven’t exactly physically hugged a tree, because you get green marks on your clothes and if you’re not careful you ladder your tights into the bargain. But I’ve nowt against saving whales and protesting against nuclear whatnots.

        Like

  2. chickpiggy says:

    I am supposed to be doing a whole lot of domestic shit right now!

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Ah don’t worry. The dishes won’t miss you for a bit 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi! Nice to meet you. Even though I do curse gratuitously, I’ll try to behave here in your house 🙂 I just spotted my blog on your sidebar and it made my day. I shall return the favor on mine.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Aw thanks – nice to meet you too! How shall I address thee though? “Harfa”? “Fortune 500?” “Milesy?” And don’t worry about the cursing, I like the swears and do use them when necessary, just not too much because I know my mum reads this blog 🙂

      Like

  4. “Heifer” sounds like Halfa. Eww. I hate that. How about “Mile High”? Nah, I’ll answer to “Linda No Last Name”. I added you to my blogroll. Me likey. And hi MUM!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Michelle says:

      Nooo not a heifer! I SO didn’t mean anything of the sort – I’m obviously an appallingly bad fake moniker giver. Linda it is then. And thanks for blogrolling me! Oh and I’m totally stalkering you on twitface too now – The Bloggess follows you! Me too, I nearly exploded in delight when I saw that. Do you think she’d ever read our posts, on the quiet, ninja style sorta thing? I like to daydream she does.

      Like

  5. Everything I ever say — I’m kidding. I’m always kidding. I’ve been TELLING bloggy friends to call me Heifer cause it sounds like Halfa. I have no embarrassment about anything. I find it hilarry. I don’t “get” Twitter. I totally don’t get it. I am on there cause I like to play in the Saturday Tweet Contest. I really was going to read Twitter for Dummies, but it was too too long. When I saw she followed me, I was like whoop whoop. I’m somebody, but I actually think The Bloggess must just randomly follow some people back. Bubble burst.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Michelle says:

      How about Heffy? That is probably too reminiscent of Hefner… ugh more bad associations. I’ll stop now. And you should totally still feel like a somebody, cos I figure even though Jenny has 460,954 followers, she “only” follows 34,324. ie she doesn’t follow everyone and therefore we are practically her BFFs!

      Like

  6. Yeah, she’s totally at my house right now. We are having pillow fights and tickle fights. She says hey.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Linda says:

    Hopped on over here from the cabbage patch and I think we’re going to be the best of friends. I see my twisted BFF from half a mile beat me here – oh, that other Linda – she’s always trying to one up me! I am looking forward to following your adventures; hopefully, your new posts arrive in my inbox before that other Linda’s does so that I can beat her here to comment first. Game on!

    Linda @_theheadcabbage
    https://talesfromthecabbagepatch.wordpress.com

    PS: cussing is the BEST.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Hello, greetings! Thank you for coming by! Awesome, I have TWO Lindas fighting at my blog. Did you know ‘linda’ means ‘beautiful’ in Portuguese? Probably. Your parents anyway! I will possibly think of you as ‘Patchy Linda” and your twisted bff as ‘Huffy Linda’ (huffy being my bastardisation of ‘Half a’.) I am looking forward to comment wars already! With plenty of cussing. Now, if I can just finish a damn post…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Linda says:

        Same here. I have many posts started but just can’t seem to finish them and then I went a signed up for that A to Z Challenge like the madwoman that I am! Now I am committed (probably should be committed) to posting every day. What was I thinking?

        Like

      2. Michelle says:

        That sounds awesome and I would totally sign up to do it too if I thought there was even one snowflake’s chance in hell I would actually complete it. I am kind of anal in that I like my posts to be done in a certain order and with (my own, questionable) logic, so posting about whatever comes into my head on any given day would probably make the wheels fall off.

        Like

      3. Linda says:

        Oh my goodness — we are so much alike. I want everything to be just so before I post which is likely why it takes me so long to write one. The A to Z challenge will certainly push me outside my comfort zone; however, I do at least have a half-assed plan in place. I’m going to start the challenge off with a bang with “A is for asshole” which will set the tone for the entire challenge. Hopefully, they’ll still invite me back next year.

        Like

  8. Mila says:

    Hi, I’m also Linda. No I’m not, but I can be. Just so you have trio of Lindas in your comment section here. I’m considerate like that. Also, maybe if you change your name to Linda too, we could form an army of Lindas. Just saying..
    Also, don’t hate your blog.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Hahaaa why THANK YOU Mila, it’s always nice to meet another Linda, especially one who doesn’t hate my blog. Such gushing praise! And I can tell even before visiting your blog that I don’t hate it. Welcome! 😀

      Like

  9. Helena Khan says:

    Actually, that bit about movie armorers might not be too far from the truth. There was one particular guy on the set of the Last Samurai who was a right arse to a lot of the extras (a fair majority were Japanese flown in for the filming in NZ). I watched him entertain a massive tent full of people at lunch not because he was doing a routine. He was simply being himself.

    P.S What about old man noise (holyjeeeeesuschrist!)… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Michelle says:

      AHAHAHAAAAA yes! No one does old man noises like Billy! He was doing them like a pro before he was even forty. And you got to see him on a movie set? Were you an extra, or crew or something? Oh man, I wouldn’t be a very useful extra on a movie of his, I’d have one of two reactions if I actually got to meet him: 1) Fangirl madly, irritate the shit out of him and probably get told to fuck off and 2) Go into shock and be unable to utter a single coherent sentence. I would treasure either scenario 🙂

      Like

      1. Helena Khan says:

        I did security. Spent a day with the shoot crew once. It’s kinda funny because you pinch yourself going, wow. Thats Tom Cruise. Doing his thing about 5 meters away. Then it’s take 2, and you’re like doing my job, doing my job, doing my job. It’s over pretty quickly tbh. I was walking in AK once with a mate, and got off the footpath to let another gent (yeah the avatar is female – long story) pass us by. After a minute or two more I whacked my mate on the shoulder and said, you didn’t notice did you? He goes, what? And I just looked at him and said, “You’re scottish! And we just walked past BILLY CONNOLLY!!!!! $#%^” 🙂

        Like

      2. Michelle says:

        Awesome! An honest to God badass read my blog and is telling me stories about close encounters with the Big Yin himself! Your mate sounds like a bit of a dill. A Scotsman not knowing Billy, jeez. I even knew him when he was a CGI dwarf on a giant pig in a Hobbit movie! 😀 Mind you, he yelled a lot. You can’t really miss Billy then.

        Like

      3. Helena Khan says:

        Oh, he’s just in his own little world. I’m no badass, just likely the most ornery person you’d ever likely meet. Hmmm. Even thats probably not quite right. Stubborn. I can out stubborn a stubborn mule on all stubborns day. Mind you, my friends used to say I was a big tough security guard – made entirely out of marshmallow, so… 🙂

        And no. Billy is kinda unmistakable. That brogue will do it every time 🙂

        Like

      4. Michelle says:

        Oh by the way I think this comment was supposed to go on my Billy Connolly post, just in case anyone’s come by and is wondering WTF? 🙂

        Like

  10. Helena Khan says:

    Yeah, sorry Michelle. I hit backspace and could see the original text, but it posted here instead. WordPress has its quirks at times.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Meh, it’s all good! *I* knew what you were talking about. 🙂

      Like

  11. I just found your blog and I’m loving it!!! Check mine out if you ever have the time.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Thank you Paula! You’re loverly. And I certainly will 🙂

      Like

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