Mosey’s Berfdy Bonus Brag Book!

This post is for you Mosey!

AKA that annoying awesome sister of mine – Justine, who had a big birthday recently! I’ve been AWOL from here for over a month because I’m making her a rather large photo brag book. It should come in handy as  her memory is no doubt starting to go.

(Mosey this is your abbreviated bonus digital version as a multi- kilo hardcover book will no doubt hamper your nomadic lifestyle.)

(Plus I haven’t finished the book yet.)

(And it’s also for Mum but **WARNING MUM** certain sections may not be entirely suitable for parental supervision.)

So: Where Did Mosey Come From?

AWW I love how the little anklebiter is holding Dad's thumb. And I love my dress! OMG I was in a dress!
Our fambly, late 1976. She’s the one doing the deer in the headlights impression. AWW I love how the little ratbag is holding on to Dad’s thumb. And I love my dress! I think Mum made it. That skirt is why I have always loved patchwork.

I first knew her as “Din”.

… I was only 13 months old when we were introduced and the whole “Justine” thing was too damn hard. Still is! I have a whole bunch of other names I prefer to call her.

She has operated under several pseudonyms, including “Oddjob”, which Dad always called her (after the Bond villain who decapitated people with a bowler hat), “Dusty” (in the 1980s this term hadn’t yet come into popular use as a slang term for hung over – at least, not that I was aware, since I didn’t get hung over much in the eighties. I was in primary school after all) and “Poobum” (general description).

Not sure why Justine reminded Dad of Oddjob - maybe it was the moustache?
Not sure why Justine reminded Dad of Oddjob – possibly the tufty hair atop head? Maybe the moustache?

And she’s always been known to my boys as “Mosey”, thanks to my codename-bestowing husband. I don’t think they even realised that wasn’t her real name until Finn was nearly four.

The main street of Carnarvon in the 1970s. A little desert oasis town on the West Australian coast. Huge wide street big enough for camel trains to pull a u-turn back in the day, and for walking down the middle of after getting kicked out of the Carnarvon Hotel at closing time (midnight)
Back to where it all began… (LATE) 1970s Carnarvon, where she was spawned born.

Carnarvon’s a little desert oasis at the end of the Gascoyne River on the West Australian coast. Has a main street so wide you need a packed lunch to cross it. When the pub closed at midnight the whole pub could walk down the middle of the road and the local taxi service would hardly notice. Unless it was a really busy night and both the taxis were on.

Carnarvon: moderately well known for bananas, prawns and sheep. This prawning jetty however is FAMOUS, and figured prominently in our childhoods. And near the other end of this magical railway is where Mum and Dad met and changed the course of history in their own small way.
Carnarvon: moderately well known for bananas, prawns and sheep. The prawning  jetty however is INFAMOUS, and figured prominently in many childhoods – much fishing and many bombies were done off of it. When the prawn trawlers weren’t being annoying and using it to unload that is. And at the factory end of this magical fish-smelling railway is where Mum and Dad met and started the course of our history.
After some lightning fast moves (first date to engagement 3 months!), Paula & Roy married and had a bee-yootiful baby girl... ie ME ...
After some lightning fast moves (first date to engagement 3 months!), Paula & Roy married and had a bee-yootiful baby girl… ie ME!

… who after a year or so of undivided parental adoration was shown a small red person and informed it was her “little sister”.

She didn't do much to begin with and was cute but rather boring.
She didn’t do much to begin with and was cute but rather boring.

She was much more fun when I could sit on her, kick her dolly up and down the passageway to make her cry, have tea parties, fight, build cubbies, play dress-ups, that sort of thing.

A Mosey Mosaic. See that photo of us in the cardboard box? Our prawn crate bath was about that size wasn't it?
A Mosey Mosaic. Remember that awesome carpet? And the table and chairs Opa made us? And see that photo of us in the cardboard box? Our plastic prawn crate bathtub was just a tad bigger I think.

Mosey’s always looked up to me, and it’s obvious why – she’s short.

Me and Mosey pinafores 70s

But she also obviously adored and worshipped me. I tolerated her quite easily, cos she’s pretty cool.

She's also the World's Best Sidekick/Accomplice.
World’s Best Sidekick/Accomplice.
Our childhood to adulthood home, affectionately known as 'The Beach Shack'.
Our childhood to adulthood home, affectionately known as ‘The Beach Shack’.

Our little ol’ house. There’s the window of the tiny bedroom we shared for nearly twenty years. The big unfenced lawn out the back for our DIY tarp tents for sleepovers. Big tamarisk trees for climbing and swinging in, and on three sides lots of dirt roads for hooning on with our bikes. The Indian Ocean a mere three minute sand dune dash away.

(Over to the right is where I dropped that metal manhole cover on your foot that time and your big toe went a funny shape and colour and eventually the nail came off.) (Still sorry!!)

The Sargent Family – The Early Years.

1970 something...
1970 something…
Mid 80s? The hair fits.
Mid 80s? Ish.
Oh sweet Jesus. Has to be 1989 judging by my horrifying grown out perm...
Oh sweet Jesus. Definitely 1989 judging by my horrifying grown out short perm*…

(*I went through these photos with the boys and Finn says to me, “Mummy, why does your hair look like that?” … Dunno… I think I must’ve just given up on it.)

Do you remember…?

The famous treehouse!

The famous treehouse! Though calling it a treehouse was rather generous.
Though calling it a treehouse was rather generous. Treeplanks is more like it.

The famous causeway*!

And the infamous orange pinstriped Kingswood.
And the infamous orange racing-striped Kingswood.

(*for non-fambly ie the only road to town from Babbage Island, crossing the – usually -dry bed of the Gascoyne River. On the odd occasion the river came down we were stranded. No school!!)

“Our” jetty! (ie the prawning jetty).

Babbage Island prawning jetty 1996 sunset
How it was in 1996;  this is the only photo I ever took of it in 20 years, and it was pretty much never this calm! Now, 20 years later (but not seeming that long at all) the jetty’s nearly all fallen apart. So many summer days spent bombie-ing off that thing…

Early adventures…

All those Saturday mornings at Naval Cadets! Pissfarting around in sailboats and tinnies. (Hey were you there when Brownie was hooning too close to the beach that time and the prop hit the bottom and the outboard motor fell off? We had to fish it out of the water then tow the tinny all the way back from Pelican Point! It was funny AF but Brownie didn’t think so. And neither did Sir.)

TS Gascoyne and that 'bloody orange boat' that Dad helped restore and that won everything at the Easter Regatta that time.
TS Gascoyne and that ‘bloody orange boat’ that Dad helped restore and that won everything at the Easter Regatta that time?

…plus we had the occasional big adventure like canoeing forest rivers south of Perth or bushbashing through impenetrable forest and getting lost and nearly having to sleep rough, or being deckhands for a day on the Leeuwin II

Avast, ye swabs!
Avast, ye swabs! After finishing the 40 Hour Famine,  soup and bread from the ship’s galley was the best! (Except for Mum’s, of course.)

Don’t you miss those sexless, shapeless work uniforms and clunky shoes?

(By the way, did you hear the one about the gay whale? He went down on a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.)

And then we had skool too…

Twelve Years of Catholic Education, or 'Why Neither of Us Go to Church Any More'. (Note how photo is damaged, almost like it is trying to spontaneously combust...)
Twelve Years of Catholic Education, or ‘Why Neither of Us Go to Church Any More’.
(Note how photo is damaged, almost like it is trying to spontaneously combust…)
Greetings, peasants.
Greetings, peasants.
with Mim
Dusty and Mim, practically joined at the hip.

And just so you know, Mosey, I have dispatched a search team to find that photo of you and Mim as little old ladies for Arsenic & Old Lace. One day…

Update Christmas 2016!!

Arsing it and Old Face.jpg
Arsing It and Old Face.

That’s better.

Continuing for your entertainment:

Shenanigans!

As we got older we moved away from dollies and dressups, and entertained ourselves in a manner far more in keeping with our maturing tastes.

Like… girly makeup parties.

Fabulous dahling!
Fabulous dahling!

Annnd… manufacturing handmade chocolates for consumption by discerning friends and family.

Is that... shit?
Is that… shit?

And… remember that time we were so far ahead with the wellness trends we even trialled full body treatments with mud imported from the shores of the Dead Sea?

The
The shores of the Dead Sea… muddy puddles on Pelican Point Road… eh what’s the difference.

After school: MORE SCHOOL??

In another country!
Haro-!
Nori.
Nori.
Odori.
Odori.
Nobori.
Nobori.
Asobi! (Bakayaro-! Ahotare-!)
Asobi!
(…Bakayaro-! Ahotare-!)
Fuck, that railing looks fucking narrow!
Fuck, that railing looks fucking narrow!
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so... doo doo doo doo doo do doo...
I’m turning Japanese I think I’m turning Japanese I really think so… doo doo doo doo doo do doo…

Mosey’s Travels Through Space & Time…

New Year’s 2007 – Brisbane!

Featuring: enlarged man-eating nostrils…
A squished head.
Crushed skulls…
A finger.
The nefarious finger…..
A tongue, various fingers...
A tongue, various other fingers…
Riverdance?
Riverdance?

Then Mosey Pisses Off Again, to Europe!

I've always thought this photo deserves an awesome inspirational quote on it. Something like,
I’ve always thought this photo deserves an awesome inspirational quote on it. Something like Hemingway; “I drink to make other people more interesting.”
OCH!! I'm so jealous you got to Scotland before I did, ye wee biggit!
OCH!! I’m so jealous you got to Scotland before I did, ye wee bawbag!

2008: We Meet Again, in Canadia!

OMG Mosey it's snowing on us!!
OMG Mosey it’s snowing on us!! There’s centimetres of snow on the ground! It’s a frickin blizzard!
Where you literally sit and spin.
Donuts on Big White’s MegaCoaster: where you literally sit and spin.
I think this was when J was serenading us. Perhaps to ABBA?
I think J was serenading us? Possibly with ABBA?
Busted Tailbone Features in training.
Busted Tailbone Features in training!
WOOO MOFO!!
The drugs are either wearing off or kicking in.
Hike! HIKE DAMN YOU!!
Hike! HIKE DAMN YOU!! Actually, puppies, slow down a bit, Mosey has a slightly shattered tailbone.

Later that year: Mosey is promoted to Auntie!

Being a mum is so much fun.
Which you handled like a pro. Feeding, bathing, changing shitty nappies, getting peed on, getting puked on, getting screamed at… not to mention soothing all the tantrums and crying fits. Even occasionally from the baby.

I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been there to help when Finn arrived; probably managed okay most of the time. Since it wasn’t actually practical to stay curled up in a puddle of hormones to bawl and swear to myself until Finn started school.

Aunties make great horsies.
Aunties make great horsies.
Also great couches.
And great armchairs!
I love ya moron, but I feel most comfortable showing it by calling you names and putting you in choke holds.
You’ve always been the absolute best sister I could’ve hoped for, but I prefer to express my affection by calling you names, pretending to  punch you, and putting you in choke holds. Saying “I love you” would be like, just weird.
Just so you know, I am totally delegating all future driving lessons of the boys to you and J.
Just so you know, I am totally delegating all future driving lessons of the boys to you and J!
When Finn had been grumpy about the cold the whole time we'd been in New Zealand, and the second he hopped into the thermal pools at Lake Tekapo he suddenly sprung to life! It's a miracle!
Remember this? When Finn had been grumpy about the cold the whole time we were in New Zealand, and the second he hopped into the thermal pools at Lake Tekapo he was suddenly full of beans! And then grumpy again when he had to get out.

Update 2011: Mosey becomes Auntie to a second bobble-head.

Mosey n Roars

Mosey and boys couch
All of us squished into that little second floor apartment in Bulimba until the house was finished being built. So cosy.
Mosey Moesy and Roars
And you laid up with a post-op Frankenstein foot as well!
Mosey n Roars
Roars doing his baby thing where big smile = wide open gob.
Image by some photographer at a markets in Brisbane, totally don't know her name. But this is hers!
Image by some photographer at a markets in Brisbane, have no idea who or where! But this is hers.
Roars: YOU DRINK MY COFFEE I KEEL YOU. I KEEL YOU YOU DRINK MY COFFEE!
Roars: YOU DRINK MY COFFEE I KEEL YOU. I KEEL YOU YOU DRINK MY COFFEE!!!
Pa! The mo'!!
Pa’s own personal brand of mo’ tickle torture. Make him squeal!!
Just checking for teeth, are we Mosey?
Mosey being a good Auntie and… er… checking for teeth? I understand; he just has the kind of face you wanna squeeze.
Up to Springbrook with the parentals... I like the backpack.
Bit of bushwalking up at Springbrook with the parentals… that backpack doesn’t look like it could hold much.
At Springbrook Natural Bridge - although the guy we roped in to take the photo forgot to actually include the waterfall and cave! D'oh.
At Springbrook Natural Bridge – aw nice photo. Except for Roars – OI look this way ratbag!

Huge hollow tree, Springbrook National Park

We love you Mosey...
We love you Mosey…

2012

Family shot with Oma Pa and Mosey

Mosey and Roars 'sharing'
Rory: What’s mine was mine and what’s yours is also mine.
Boys breakdancing on a cow carpet?
Breakdancing on a cow carpet?
3...2...1... SPOOKIES!!
3…2…1… SPOOKIEEEEES!!

2013

Looks like there aren't any farts in this bedtime story. It's some serious shit!
Looks like there aren’t any amusing farts in this bedtime story. It’s some serious shit!
Dove Lake with Mum & Dad, safely on time and thankfully still in full possession of all our fingers and toes! Let's do another Tassie walk sometime but go better prepared, hey?
Dove Lake with Mum & Dad, safely on time and thankfully still in full possession of all our fingers and toes! Let’s do another Tassie walk but go better prepared next time, hey?
It was so awesome we all got to go on one more trip together! I dunno whose idea it was but they're a genius.
It was so awesome to go on one more trip together! I dunno whose idea it was but … genius. The Bruny Island Cruise was especially fun – especially the gastronomic pyrotechnics going on all around us. Brilliant show, what?
The boys playing near water, Queenstown New Zealand.
The boys playing near water and me ready to rescue them if they fall in with a camera, Queenstown New Zealand.

2014

Roars and Mosey

Currumbin Alley rock wall

first day of school with Mosey

Remember this? Cool couch sculpture on the Geelong waterfront. Boys were like, is it okay to put our shoes on it?
Remember this? Cool couch sculpture on the Geelong waterfront. Boys were like, is it okay to put our shoes on it?
And off you go again.
And off you go again…

2016

You’ve been away for (c/- Roars whinge:”It’s gonna be AAAGES!”) bloody ages and we all miss you heaps. Well you were here just over a week ago but I don’t have photographic proof because you insisted the ones I took were horrible and you looked like an evil witch trying to eat Rory. So since I’m such a good sister I haven’t put up that one. But you better hurry yo ass up and get back here!

Luv ya Poobum. Sort of. You know. Idiot.

– Poo Head.

Me and Mosey muddy hug

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21 Comments Add yours

  1. Um. I’m your sista too and I also has a berfday coming up. Your presents rock.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Huffy! Happy berfdy! For… whenever your berfdy is. You’d think I’d know that, being your sis and all. 🙂

      Like

      1. Ha. It’s not til October. I just want some of your fab preeesents.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. NAAAAW THIS IS THE とってもすばらしいなPRESENTO EVERRRR!!!!
    I did laugh and cry in it. There was scoffing. And a bit of resolution-making (take more photos, be more present…I’ll break those).
    I can’t think of a better way to celebrate 40 years with my poo head of a sister though, than reading back through them. See, that’s why I keep you on…
    Luvs ya (just a bit) x (kick) Din

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Michelle says:

      I know exactly where you scoffed, laughed and cried because that was my evil plaaaannn!! Mwah ha ha. Glad you like it. I’m spewing a bit though because there are photos I want to put in there BUT I CANNOT FIND THEM AND I’VE LOOKED BLOODY EVERYWHERE. I guess we’ll just have to use our ever- reliable memories…

      Like

      1. There’s where I’m totally RELYING ON YOU here. Hellooo – early onset altheimers. Maybe they’ll turn up though. You never knoooooow

        Like

  3. doesn’t look like you like your sister very much 😀 I laughed really hard at “the main street was so wide you need a packed lunch to cross it.” the rest was added tears and belly spasms hahahaha such a lovely, lovely thing to do for your sister!

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Yeah we totally hate each other’s guts! It’s pretty obvious isn’t it? 🙂

      (And you should SEE that main street! It’s literally wide enough for a camel train to turn around in, which is why they were made so wide; so the camel trains back in the early days had room to turn around. All the old towns up north are like that I think.)

      Like

  4. Christopher says:

    At first I was envious of you for having an amazing sister, for having so many amazing adventures, and for the amazing place where you grew up…but you’ve shared it all with the rest of us.
    And that’s just amazing.

    Like

    1. What a lovely comment.! And even though I am her sister and fortunate to have experienced everything she’s writing about, relving it in the way that she tells it is like having it all over again. Which is the best birthday present ever.

      Like

      1. Plus she has a much better memory than me so 1 day I will need her journal to remember what I’m all about..

        Like

      2. Michelle says:

        :D… Also *choh* – I don’t have a better memory than you, I just have written evidence, more than half of which is no doubt exaggerated. And I seem to have not written about the stuff that I remember best, but in talking to you about it it seems that I actually remember it all totally wrong. D’oh!

        Like

    2. Michelle says:

      Thanks for the fuzzies, Christopher! I always knew we were lucky that we got along so well and had such carefree childhoods but I didn’t realise just *how* lucky until I grew up a bit and found out what it was like for many other people. So many lovely memories that I’ll always be so thankful for, and try to pass on to my boys.

      Like

  5. Naaaaw yeah I don’t mind her…

    Like

  6. Linda says:

    What a frickin’ awesome Berfdy Bonus Brag Book! You make me wanna have a sister :). This being an only child really sucks sometimes because I have no one to make me a berfdy book so ………..

    I am just going to pretend that you and Mosey are my sisters and that we call each other names and fight and have make up parties and kick each other’s dollies up and down the hall and make each other cry/laugh and all that other sisterly stuff you two have done over the years. I think I’ll pass on the perm though.

    By the way, you were in Canadia and you didn’t stop in for a visit? Now I really am pissed. But you can make it up to me when my berfdy rolls around next June.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Hahaaaa! I’m not surprised you’re passing on the perm – out of all the fashion crimes I’ve committed and continue to commit perms are the one thing I’m reformed over. Mind you, I was a *three* time offender. Two short and one long. I just refused to see that my fine, dead straight hair would not curl in an attractive manner.
      As to inserting yourself into our fambly, welcome! There’s plenty of room. Mosey’s away from me a lot of the time these days so I’m adopting new sisters all the time. You don’t need to forward a resume, I can tell from your blog you’re ONE-OF-US.
      And hey, I am SOOOO sorry about not visiting you while I was in Canadia! In my pathetic defence it was before I’d met you or even knew blogs existed. Forgive me? 🙂
      And when is your berfdy? Mine is June too! We are totally twins.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Linda says:

        Now it all makes sense; we’re Gemini twins! My berfdy is June 1st. Yours?

        Like

  7. Michelle says:

    The 7th! We totally have the best star sign. Are you a typical dualistic Gemini? I am. So much so that I confuse myself sometimes. I also love trying and learning new stuff, am socially outgoing (when necessity/the mood takes me), a bit of a smart arse, creative, and “emotionally unreachable and difficult to pin down” – though I’m working on that. It’s funny, I put absolutely zero stock in horoscopes but for some reason believe a bunch of stars millions of miles away somehow influenced my personality. Duality right there.

    Like

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