Fugly Faces.

nb “fugly” in this context means “FUNNY UGLY”, ok?

One of the world’s best and funniest people, the writer Jenny Lawson, wrote a blog post yesterday about some shit she pulled at the Mom 2.0 Summit conference, and it was awesome.

I've been looking at this photo all day and it still cracks me up.
I’ve been looking at this photo all day and it still cracks me up.

I KNOW RIGHT!?! That happens to me too! My arm just isn’t long enough to stop my neck doing that chubby baby’s thigh thing, that is unless I hold the damn phone at a 90 degree angle above my head. And probably drop it on my face.

Anyway she wrote about how much fun it was, and also how scary liberating it was to share a photo of herself and her friend looking like – in her words – giant thumbs and/or penises. And because she encouraged her readers to share their awesomeness, they posted their funny ugly selfies in the comments section.

I literally have to take about 10 photos like the 3 on the left before I'll get one like the photo on the right.
I literally have to take about 10 photos like the 3 on the left before I’ll get one like the photo on the right.

Except I couldn’t get the photo to upload so I decided to write my own post instead. Lucky you!

Anyway Jenny then put her photos through this app called How Old Do I Look? I remember seeing a link to it on FB last week or the week before but I couldn’t be arsed. But today I tried it, even if just to see if, like Jenny, one of my fugly photos could confound a computer’s brain.

The Bloggess funny face
Right! The gauntlet has been thrown!

The app warned me beforehand that it might not get my age / gender / species right, and that they were “working to improve this feature”. Personally I think it’s fine just the way it is.

I know you're just a collection of circuits and microchips, and you don't have a soul, but I FREAKIN LOVE YOU.
App, I know you’re just a collection of circuitry and computer code, and you don’t have a soul, but I FREAKIN LOVE YOU.

Hot Tip: Having a crappy phone camera saves you smearing vaseline on the lens. Next I did the fugly (ie FUNNY ugly) ones.

This one wassupposed to be a ‘semi nice’ one but I forgot about my sticky-uppy hair. Remind me never to try a beehive hairdo.
This one was supposed to be a ‘semi nice’ one but I forgot about my sticky-uppy hair. Remind me never to try a beehive hairdo, apparently it adds 13 years to your age as determined by a randomly generated computer algorithms thingy.
Screen Shot 2015-05-06 at 10.55.17 pm
LOL: How the eff does this one look a year younger than my ‘semi-nice’, sorta normal one? NOT HAPPY JAN!!! It also thinks I’m male, possibly due to my ‘just got slammed in the nuts’ facial expression. Actually I look at this and am reminded of Jean Luc Picard after he was assimilated by The Borg.

Actually it’s more like Little Nicky.

Popeye's chicken is the shiznit!!!!
Popeye’s chicken is the shiznit!!!!

Next!!

App still thinks I'm only 36! I want to marry it.
App still thinks I’m only 36! I want to marry it.

This is how I get out of bed in the morning and J never comments on my youthful appearance. Is that grounds for a divorce?

Closest one yet. Coincidentally, it's also the face I'll make in a few weeks when I realise I've hit 40...
Closest one yet. Coincidentally, it’s also the face I’ll make in a few weeks when I realise I’ve hit 40…
So this is what I'm going to look like in six years' time? Lovely...
So this is what I’m going to look like in six years’ time?
Lovely…

Oh, and I see I will also be a man. Awesome! I get to skip menopause. Jenny was so right! That was heaps fun. And the more times I read her post the more I piss myself laughing. My face and neck hurts now, but I’m thinking of it as a free facial plus everyone knows it helps you stay young if you stretch.

– Michelle

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Michelle says:

    Showed the boys and they thought it was awesome, then Finn asked me to do some more so the computer would think I was 63.

    Like

  2. lol So funny! I will have to try this with that app!

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      It was loads of fun, but be warned: time suckage will occur…

      Like

  3. Robyna says:

    That app is hilariously bad – I wonder if they did that on purpose. Did you see this one: http://www.theshovel.com.au/2015/05/01/microsoft-app-correctly-guesses-what-year-you-think-it-is/

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      Hahah yes! I do believe I saw that somewhere, most likely on your FB! You find the coolest stuff. I definitely think our esteemed *cough cough*…leader …*cough* would be happier in the 50s; he’d have the exact same attitude but without people getting as annoyed and taking the piss out of him for it.

      Liked by 1 person

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