Incy Wincy & I Come To An Agreement.

You know how I might’ve intimated I’m a bit of an arachnophobe? Well a rather biggish huntsman appeared in the office a week or so ago, and has somehow still not ended up upside down on the floor with a broom through his head. I think I’m becoming more tolerant, you know, growing as a person. Though it might also be because if I try to evict him he’ll

a)      Move. And make me go all shuddery and waily and Kermit the frog panic dance.

b)      Flee to the high ceiling where I can’t reach him, then sit and give me the hairy eyeball

c)       Hide behind the bookshelf or the printer or behind the monitor & scare the absolute shit out of me when I come across him again.

First I made a deal with him to not move from where he was near the aircon, which he honoured for a couple of days – he clung to the wall in a kind of bedraggled fashion so I felt a bit sorry for him; I thought maybe he was on the way out and I was ok with that.

But then the bugger moved – to the wall directly above the desk where I work. Of course. Again, I left him alone, though I found it hard to focus while imagining a large leggy arachnid suddenly dying and falling off the wall into my lap/ onto my face. But he didn’t do this, and I kind of got used to him. Mainly because he does all his scuttling around while I’m not looking … omg a Weeping Angel spider! (Like he needs to be any creepier!)

Why, hello there... *plays it cool*
Why, hello there… *plays it cool*

He doesn’t seem to have left the office at all; just sits on the wall, bludging. Watching us. And plotting. Presumably he’s paying some rent as I haven’t seen any other spiders, bugs or mozzies in here. Not that I usually do; I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Since he’s staying on*, I’ve decided to name him Lord Varys.

*It all depends on him. If he stays the hell away from me, I shall continue to spare him. If he has a go, or tries to play hide and seek?… floor, broom, head.

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. ekgo says:

    Pretty much, there is everything and more to love about this post. But, then, I adore spiders. They keep the icky bugs off my houseplants and they exercise the cats in the winter. Plus, I’ve always found them fascinating, ever since I was really little.
    But then, you’ve got the Kermit Flail. The Kermit Flail solves so many of life’s problems and enhances the triumphs.
    And THEN you’ve got The Spider. I love him in the books and I love him even more in the show.
    So, pretty much, this is a perfect post and I have great love for it.

    Like

    1. Michelle says:

      I wish I had the perfect reply to your perfect comment! Thanks muchly for stopping by 🙂
      But…you adore spiders????? You had me at dragonflies but you kinda lost me at spiders *shudder* But I’m working on it – Lord Varys has indeed moved from the office into the library and tonight I spotted him crouching next to a ceiling beam in the kitchen. I think he might be heading for the front door… and here I’ve been so hospitable…

      Like

      1. ekgo says:

        Oh, I like most bugs. Except earwigs, ticks, and leeches. Those things must die. Otherwise, bugs and I are friends.
        I just found a praying mantis in the backyard this past weekend and I squealed at it. I think it probably packed its bags and moved on because no creature should be that adored when trying to be unseen. Poor thing.
        But dragonflies are my very-most favorite.
        I hope Lord Varys goes out and tells the other spiders that they have no need to visit you now that he has claimed your domicile as your own. That way, you can have just him and he will collect your secrets and your nasty plant-eating bugs, and no other spiders will intrude. I’ll bet you could live with that, yes?

        Like

  2. Michelle says:

    So, a kind of symbiotic relationship perhaps? As long as we never had to really even be in the same room together…more like a loveless but cordial marriage / business agreement. With no brooms or lawyers involved? Okay. He needs to be a bit meaner to the other spiders though I think; we’ve been away for over a week and I actually walked THROUGH WEBS in the lounge room last night. IN THE DARK. (*KTF!!*) One cheeky bugger hovered on a web spun between the kitchen bench and the pendant lamp. I gave him the thumbs up for his spider balls and took him outside on a pop stick (he was about 5mm across). Then I came into the office this morning and greeted Lord Varys who seems to be done exploring the house and has returned to his previous post on the wall directly above my desk. Maybe he missed me?
    * that is, “KERMIT THE FROG!!*

    Like

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