You know how I might’ve intimated I’m a bit of an arachnophobe? Well a rather biggish huntsman appeared in the office a week or so ago, and has somehow still not ended up upside down on the floor with a broom through his head. I think I’m becoming more tolerant, you know, growing as a person. Though it might also be because if I try to evict him he’ll
a) Move. And make me go all shuddery and waily and Kermit the frog panic dance.
b) Flee to the high ceiling where I can’t reach him, then sit and give me the hairy eyeball
c) Hide behind the bookshelf or the printer or behind the monitor & scare the absolute shit out of me when I come across him again.
First I made a deal with him to not move from where he was near the aircon, which he honoured for a couple of days – he clung to the wall in a kind of bedraggled fashion so I felt a bit sorry for him; I thought maybe he was on the way out and I was ok with that.
But then the bugger moved – to the wall directly above the desk where I work. Of course. Again, I left him alone, though I found it hard to focus while imagining a large leggy arachnid suddenly dying and falling off the wall into my lap/ onto my face. But he didn’t do this, and I kind of got used to him. Mainly because he does all his scuttling around while I’m not looking … omg a Weeping Angel spider! (Like he needs to be any creepier!)
He doesn’t seem to have left the office at all; just sits on the wall, bludging. Watching us. And plotting. Presumably he’s paying some rent as I haven’t seen any other spiders, bugs or mozzies in here. Not that I usually do; I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.
Since he’s staying on*, I’ve decided to name him Lord Varys.
*It all depends on him. If he stays the hell away from me, I shall continue to spare him. If he has a go, or tries to play hide and seek?… floor, broom, head.